Harry Potter and the Bad Pickup Lines

ok people, i found this on a website and its really funny. and people who follow harry potter will understand it better. :P so here i gooo........

We may not be in Professor Flitwick's class, but you still are charming.

I don't have an invisibility cloak but do you think tonight I can visit your restricted section?

I want to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets.

My love for you burns like a dying phoenix.

You know, Hagrid's not the only giant on campus.

Do you think you could take on a mountain troll in the bathroom like Hermione did? Would you be ready in five minutes?

Wanna make some magic together? My wand is at the ready.

If you were a quaffle and I was a chaser during a quidditch match, I'd score with you.

I must have had some Felix Felicis because I think I'm about to get lucky.

Without you I feel like I'm in Azkaban and dementors are sucking away my soul.

You know, the Sorting Hat placed me in Gryffindor. I think it's because like Godric Gryffindor himself, I too have an impressive sword.

Want to go to the Hog's Head, if you know what I mean?

Being without you is like being under the Cruciatus Curse.

Want to have a Tri-Wizards Tournament? Well not really "Tri-Wizard," I was thinking more one wizard and two witches.

I've been whomping my willow thinking about you.

If I was to look into the Mirror of Erised, I would see the two of us together.

Do you know the Petrificus Totalus spell? Because you make me stiff.

I'm not an Animagus but sometimes I can be real animal.

How 'bout you and me go look for the Room of Requirement?

You know Platform 9 and 3/4? Well I know something else with the same exact measurements.

A couple nights with me and Moaning Myrtle will have to get a new nickname.

What do you say we disapparate out of here.

Wanna practice making what looks like a mandrake.


More submissions:
- You look like you'd be a good Quidditch player. Want to ride my broomstick?

- You know, when I said, "Accio hottie," I didn't expect it to work!

- I know my name's not Luna, but I sure know how to Lovegood if you know what I mean.

- If I try hard enough, I can get a really big patronus. All I have to do is think of happy things.
or
- If I were going to produce a patronus, you'd be my happy thought.

- Will you be my horcrux tonight, so l can give a piece of my soul to you?

- I know you want me to manage your mischief!

- You must not be a muggle, because you cast a spell on me.
or
- You must be magical because I've fallen under your spell.

- Want to head to the Shrieking Shack? We could do some shrieking of our own.

- You don't need defense against my dark arts.

- Are you using the Confundus charm or are you just naturally mind blowing?

- The thought of you makes something vast and silver erupt from my wand.

- I must need Occlumency, because I can't get you out of my thoughts.

- I might as well be under the Imperius curse, because I'd do anything for you.

- (for the females) Is that a wand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

- If I were a Seeker and you were a Snitch, would you let me catch you?

- I don't have any muggle money, but I do have a sickle and two knuts.

- Are you a bogart? 'Cause I have a fear of hot girls.

- After a romantic night with me, you are going to need a timeturner because you are going to want to experience it again and again.

- Are you speaking parseltongue? 'Cause you're talking to my snake.

- Your smile's like expelliarmus: simple but disarming.

- They say I'm like the horn of a crumple-horned snorkack. Explosive.

- What's the password to your portrait?

- My heart's splinched without you.

- Yeah, I've got a pretty good batch of polyjuice going, wanna taste?

- I'm goblin. Let me stroke your vault.

- You're like a bottle of Skele-Gro: growing me a bone.

- Why dont i make like Salazar and Slyther inside of you?

- Your name must be Severus Severus 'cause you make my prince full blood.

- Did you survive Avada Kedavra? 'Cause you're drop dead gorgeous.

- What flavor are your Bertie Bott's? (???????????????)

- I can be your house elf. I'll do whatever you want and I don't need any clothes.

- I need a pensieve because my head is filled with thoughts about you.

- How do I get into your Department of Mysteries?

- Why don't you come tame my dragon?

- Just like the Slytherin common room, how 'bout my snake in your dungeons?

- I don't know a thing about Merlin's pants, but I'd love to get into yours!

- Wanna play with my Sorcerer's Stones?

- You don't have to worry about me, I've been tested for Hogwarts, if you know what I mean.

- If you were a basilisk, I wouldnt mind dying just to look into your eyes.

- Are you a dementor? Because you send chills up my spine.

- I'm just like Oliver Wood, baby... I'm a keeper!
or
- You might be a *insert quidditch position here* but I think you're a keeper. (Take your pick.)

- Engorgio! Oh wait I don't need magic to enlarge this!

- Firenze and I have a lot in common, we both have parts like a horse.

- My name isn't Neville, but i do have a longbottom. (I just thought this one was ridiculous which made it funny.)

- Did you say "Wingardium Leviosa"? Cause you've got me rising, baby.

- So your the Head Girl of your house, huh? hmm.....

- Cho Chang? More like Cha-Ching! Cause I just hit the jackpot.

- Oh, no everything’s cool. I got the Fiendfyre treatment, no more crabbes.

- Could I borrow your wand? I need to practice my 'swish and flick.'

- Are you a dementor? Because you just took my breath away.

- Yeah girls call me "Aguamenti." Everytime they hear my name, they get wet.

- It's a portkey.... once you touch it, it will take you somewhere you ain't never been before.

- I solemnly swear I am up to no good...

- Want to learn to speak troll? I can get you grunting in no time.

- Would you like a butterbeer? It's a portkey. Next thing you know we'll be back at my place.

- I don't need the mirror of Erised to know that you're everything I desire. (similar to a previous line, but better I think.)

- I'm like the spine on a care of magical creatures book; if you stroke me right i'll open wide for you. (Pretty much a witch's line)

- You know...I have been mistaken for a centaur before. (similar to a previous line, and a bit

- Did you just cast a spell on me baby? 'cuz I'm feeling an engorgio charm coming on.

- I know you're taken, but if I had a time-turner, you'd be mine. (How 'bout that one, huh?)

- Is your name "Avada Kedvra"? 'Cause you've got a killer bod.

- The sorting hat says you should be in my house...wait ...whats that...it also says you should be in my bed.

- Did you use Relashio? 'Cause there's sparks between us.

- Did you slip some firewhiskey into my drink, or are you just getting hotter?

- Did you cast Impervio on me? Cause when I'm near you I can't control my body.

- Not even Veritaserum could make me express how much I’m truly attracted to you.

- If you were a Dementor I would turn criminal just to get your kiss.

- Do you want my Elder Wand, because you're looking Deathly Hollow...

- You don't have to say "Luminos Maxima" to turn me on.

STOP BEING HYPOCRATES

Okay! So I had gone to charni road today, and while coming back I was waiting for the bus to come. Atlast the bus came, and I hurried my way out of the crowd to get in the buss, so there was this man who seemed good, like all educated and everything. As the bus approached he started saying to no one in particular “ go slow”, I was still in my hurried mood so I pushed my way through the crowd and don’t know from where I saw his hand well near my breast ready to enjoy the moment as I get into the bus. As I had noticed it, I first slapped him hand out of the way and then got into the bus.

As usual the buss was full and there was no place to sit, so I headed to the front side of the bus and waited behind the drivers sit, where there was grill so I could hold on the grill and stand.

After like 5minutes, I realized that some one was touching my hand from side, I looked around it was him again, and the next moment I realized that he was trying to rub his Pe**s to my backside, I turned around and gave him a look that would have made any guy understand that he was supposed to STOP HIS MISSBEHAVIOUR THAT VERY MOMENT.

But he continued, like most of the men do who try to touch women in crowded places, and women who feel it will be insulting to tell him to stop or the way we say it “abhla nari”or I don’t know what they feel to speak up maybe they are shy or something like that. But I was not one of them at all, i turned around and spoke in a loud voice “ is trying to touch me necessary?? Cant you stand properly?”, his face fell. And suddenly other people started to watch him angrily nd he got down at the next stop.

Ashamed.

Why is it so that there are such men in the society? I mean to say, women just go on taking crap from such men and never speak up. But they should or else these men would never stop.

In a land where women is treated like goddess people do such things? What hypocrites they are.

Well, I would just like to conclude saying to all the women who are reading this, never let anything like that happen to you, and if it happens with you then please speak up. That’s the only way these people will realize their mistakes and never do it again to any other girl. And for guys who are reading this and who do what I just mentioned for them “STOP BEING HYPOCRATES”

Ps - I am not saying I am proud of what happened, or wants to boost about myself. But I guess this is something i should write about.

Memories! ♥ ♥ ♥

Okay people, I am not that good at writing stories or writing down my memories, and the following post in one of them. So please bear with me

It was around 11.50pm, I was chatting with one of my really good friend abhishek. At sharp 12 my cell phone rang… my heart danced, I knew what was the call about but when I looked at the number who was calling it was some unknown number.

“hellooo”, I sang into the phone.

“happy birthday to you….” Someone was singing happy birthday to me.

And i was just trying to guess who it is, and when the song ended I recognized the voice it was abhishek who was chatting with me sometime back. We then kept talking for more 5mins and then he said,

“ ill hang up now, your other friends might be calling”

And I agreed.

He had left me utterly touched, he had replaced the place of my other best friends ( with who for some reason I don’t talk to now, though I miss them some times )

Sometime some people do such a small thing and you feel really touched, for him it was just wishing his lil sis, while for me it was a great deal.

Another such day I remember, we had planned a night out at one of my boyfriends friend ( who is my friend as well, and yes… abhishek is actually my boyfriends friend as well… I met him through my bf ) so everyone boozed for a while and then later, we thought we would play truth and dare, which was later just truth.

We decided every1 will ask each other questions and they will answer the truth.

It was my turn and salil, my boyfriend younger brother asked me, “ how do you feel about our family?, would you be able to get married to rohan and live with us?”, my answer was “ yes”.

And then abhishek said ( he was recently been ditched by a girl then) “ I though there is nothing like true love in this world, and then I saw pooja and rohan that makes me say, that there is love still somewhere”

Rohan kissed me on my forehead that time, and no one saw except abhishek and he announced to everyone, that he kissed me and everyone else were grinning and I melted in rohans arm J

And the last episode I remember is when me and rohan had a big fight and almost broke up, every one else said it was after all my decision, do what you feel is right and all. And it was abhishek who said “ take care, and whenever you need me I am right there for you, just gimme a call or else buzz me and ill be there”, and even though it was all the breakup I was going through that made me smile in a instant.

And now ull be thinking why am I talking about abhishek so much. The reason is that its been 2months and I have not talked to him, his cell is switched off his residence number is never picked up by anyone. We tried going to his place but it seemed as if no one is home. And I am missing him like hell. I just want him back right now! M really missing him. ( and if u guys are getting any second thoughts that I am hitting on him and all, then please lemme specify there is a bro – sis relation between us nothing like I like him and all.)

And below is a short note or maybe a story or whatever youll like to call it… abhishek had written this for me and rohan about few months back. I am just copy pasting what he wrote.

Ek Choti Si Love Story .. Jo ab Choti Nahi Rahi

A short love story about two most AWESOME people I know.

It was a year ago, When we all must have heard Rohan saying “I Love You” to someone so speacial in his life. And you’ll are right, It was “Pooja Mahimkar”. Knowing the fact that they can’t live without each other, They still have their ups & downs.

As time has passed both of them have have matured in this relationship. In our small little group, We’ve enjoyed every single moment with you guys! It feels imcomplete without you guys together.

Just yesterday’s incident, When we were waiting for Rohan to come below his house, Pooja must have asked me “Where is Rohan?” atleast 5 – 6 times! So, This is what I’m talking about. It feels incomplete.

Hey! Sorry, I’m very bad writer! So, Didn’t know how to end it, So please don’t mind.

Wish you guys luck for the future! Take Care.

And Hey ….

This Relationship is Gonna Be

LEGEN ….. Wait for It ….. DARY

Kids Need Technology

Kids need technology

I just noticed this thing, and found it really cute and adorable. When I was a kid, I had loads of dolls and soft toys and fake typewriters and fake doll house with all the appliances and everything. But now these days all our little kids will not play with anything fake. There is this girl in out neighborhood who I was babysitting the other day and I gave her all my old toys to play I thought that would be enough for her.

But it was not, she wanted my cell phone to play with and wanted to type on my laptop. She enjoyed just tapping random keys on my key board and sticking the cell phone to her ear and muttering in what we call as baby language which we really don’t understand.

Kids of our generation are getting tech savvy right from their childhood. God know what will happen in the generations yet to come.

Teere Saang

Teera Saang

I saw teere saang recently, before it was released people used to say it’s the Indian version of juno ( Which is soo not true). Yes the story line is the same about a girl getting pregnant when is she still underage. But the way it is shown is totally different. It showed the real Indian mentality.

One thing they said in the movie and I truly agree to it is this that what really determines whether the girl is mature or not? As they said In the movie, there are different rules and different age limits of when is a girl legally said to be an adult in different countries. If a girl and a boy are mature enough to have sex then I guess they are mature enough to even have a baby and get married. Look, I am not saying everyone in this world should do that, but if by mistake something like this happens then what is wrong with that? Why does society treats it like something bad? Like something evil? As if its something that a human being should not do?

Now you’ll say, that if a girl gets pregnant when is still young she wont be able to take care of the child and all. Well yes, agreed. But then what are her parents for then? anywhich ways these days both parents work and the kids are grown up by their grand parents. So if they can do it then, then why not now?

Parents always want their daughters to get married as soon as they reach 23 or 24, but if their daughter gets pregnant at 20 it’s a crime. I mean WTF???

One other thing I liked about the movie is this that, they didn’t show that they get married and left their studies and settle down and all that crap. But rather showed that she contines her studies and both the families accept their kids.

I guess, Indian people really need to change their way of thinking atleast a bit.

I would say this movie was satish kaushiks best movie ever.

P.S - I don’t know what you all will say to this, but I would love to hear your views on this matter.

My First Tag Post

I've been tagged by Sonali
more about the TAG:
The idea is,to list five items in each category and not necessarily in order of likings.
Tag five people too.
My five most often used words :
1)you know what!!!
2)f*** off
3)stupid
4)so
5)shut up
My five crushes :
1) zena, my pet dog :D
2) Sharukh Khan
3) dev patel
4) Shahid Kapoor
5)Ruslaam Mumtaz ( just cause of Teere Saang! I loved that movie )

Five favorite random things :
1) Laptop
2) boyfriend
3) internet
4) cell phone
5) friends
Five favorite colors :
1) blue
2) blue

3)Black
4)White
5)blue
Five movies :
1) Serendipity
2) P S I love you
3) Harry potter Series
4) all of SRK movies
5) Teere Saang.

Five tag victims :
Everyone who reads this post :D

Living without you

I keep looking in all the places,

Where you are supposed to be.

But I never seem to find you,

And you’re all I long to see.

I just can’t seem t understand,

What is that changed your mind.

All this time I thought I knew you,

When really, I was blind.

But know that I do not hate you,

And I know I never will.

Because I cared about you then,

And I care about you still.

Even though you hurt me,

I can’t seem to let you go.

But I will go on without you,

And I want to make sure you know.

It will take some time to mend,

The damage that you’ve done.

But the broken hearts do heal,

That’s where strength comes from.

For now, the tears may be falling,

And my thoughts keep circling to you

But soon, things will get better,

If you have hope, then they always do.

- Kristy glassen

chicken soup for the teenage soul on love and friendship.

Slumdog Crorepati V/S Slumdog Millionaire

Yesterday I saw slumdog crorepati the hindi, dubbing of well known movie slumdog millionaire by the end of the movie, I was glad that it was originally made in English and not in hindi, don’t get me wrong I am not anti hindi or an English lover who loves to show off and all. But really, the dubbing would make you laugh.

I don’t understand why when a movie is dubbed in Hindi, it sounds so funny? It looses all its glamour the entire moral and the entire message. I mean I don’t know we don’t find normal hindi movie that tacky, but when we watch a dubbed movie, it sounds really very funny. Why is that?

I guess, they should try making a dubbed movie a bit more realistic, I mean the movie should not loose its real essence.

Well, I guess ill find something more about it, as in why they dub a movie in a funny fashion :P

Confessions READ!

hey people, thanks for reading what i wrote but it was a story and i wanted to write more but before i could i had to go out for like 15mins and in mean by my brother published it.. so people dont worry nothing has happened to me. and thanks for the concern i really got loads of pings asking what was wrong!

thanks a lot guys,

love you all

pooja

and ~ NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME~

What Are We Doing???

On my previous post, I got a few coments saying that I have wrote the truth about society but when It comes to do something on ourself we chicken out. Well I completely agree with that.

I did what most people on this planet does I just blamed and critised other people. But when I came to think of it what have I done for the country, I can hardly name a few. Yes but one thing for sure, I atleast aim for doing something for the country. Like I wanted to join defence, but being a girl I knew it since day one that my family wont allow me to do so no matter how much I persuade them. So I dropped the plan. So when I started thinking in what way can I serve my country with my families permission so I thought of journalism. I know I am not great at writing and all, and have minimal knowledge about politics. But I still wish do to my bit for my country.

We say, “ Kuch nahi hoga is desh ka”, stop being cynical. Look around India is not the same anymore. It is progressing slowly but still. We say India needs young leaders but if we ask young generation they have their dreams elsewhere like settling down in some other country. All they want is get out of the country. go abroad for studying or earn money and then just settle down there. I am not saying don’t get higher studies or something like that. But India has got one of the best education system. Now you people will say, that what is the use of education if we got get any job here cause of corruption. Well that’s just a matter of time and for people to change their way of thinking. We are going to rule this country in few years we will be the earning population then. if we stop taking bribes and avoid corruption then maybe our next generation will get a better life.

Our leaders died to free our country from the rule of the west. They called our country our mother and we still say “ vande mataram” . and now we say, that this country got no future means you just say that to your MOTHER land. And now we go to the west and serve them, which again shows that they still rule most of us.

We say, why should we change it, let others do it and others think the same. Just change the way we think. If we change it now, out next generation which is no one else but our own kids will live a better life. India got a huge manpower. And I would just say “ united we stand, divided we fall”. I guess you will get what I mean by that.

thanks

Lack of human values in the millennium

Lack of human values in the millennium

“Character make a man”, “money lost nothing lost, Character lost, everything lost!!! All such moral have been heard and embedded in our minds and souls from times immemorial. All very good to hear and say through!

Cause when we look around the globe, read the global news all that we see and hear in very contradictory to what was imprinted in our minds about being a good and righteous balances human being with high levels of human values which is a great factor that differentiates us human from the other species and relatively makes us ride from getting recognition of humans who can value and respect gods creations and stand up as a race superior to other living beings on this earth.

Honesty in actions, words and deeds politeness, stainghtforwardness in talks and behavious, sincerity and understanding, respect towards one another, selflessness faithfulness are a few if many virtues that use to be found in earlier times, ut in this millennium we have been hearing and seeing all around us that these virtues ecist only on paper they have been long back buried under the tyrannical actions and thoughts of the modern people. Be they the local villagers who slaughter not only animals on the pretext of religious sacrifices but also their children if they are born a girl child. They even sell their children to gain a money to satiate their hunger for illicit liquor and relationships. They have no respect for women left in their heart. Playing around with a women’s modesty is an everyday affair. The innocence of the villagers is no more existing. And not to talk about the literate urban people who think that their honour lies in cheating, dumping and earing in a dishonest way. In urban cities women are no less to be blamed then men. A so called civilized literate women moves around with a cigarette in her hand with bare minimum clothing and all the values that a woman use to keep as a treasure she readily sells off shows us the direction and the trend of our modern society. Hence who can blame the men totally who allegedly go around raping women? Women who in the good old days were respecred as a goddess, a mother, a wife a treasured person.

But values have died.

What about the politicians, the doctors, the lawyers who are the main backbone of out society?

Today any lawyer can be bought with money. A lawyer can bend a case and buy witnesses for a meager amount. He sells himself even in the temple of justice.

Talking about temples, good lord! Even the pujaris and pandits fake their roles. Devotees are fooled and fat amounts are taken for puja’s and the religious minded people are so easy to fool that they pandits make merry. From the lord’s house the temple, the statues of the lord himself are stolen. What more can we talk about values?

The doctors who we say are next to god. God gives us life and doctors save out lives. But nowadays doctors swindle innocent patient who are at their mercy for several days. Money demands at the last moment at the time of operation are so high, the orfans of human body are discreetly removed and sold without the knowledge of the person. Where are the values and the oaths that the doctors take when they swear in to be of help to mankind?

When the word dishonesty comes the word politicians come rushing to our minds

In this millennium the politicians first fill up their pockets in a hurried manner. They enter politics so hat their generations can eat in peace without wodking. So what it the “pyaari jaanta”, “mango people” suffers. Whatever loan the world back gives for the benefit of the people’s betterment be it during earthquakes or famines or floods. Never really reaches the people. Our former leaders and social workers were true to their positions, they served nation selflessly but nowadays the leaders just gives verbal assurances “hum ye karenge aur who karenge” and so on.

OMG! When will the goodness and loyalty of each individual

Awaken again? When will we learn to possess virtues and when the time will come that an awakening takes place in our millennium the so called “ kaali yug” when will human values will not only be preached but also practices the generations to come will heave a sigh of relief.

Sally in our Alley

Hey people, this is one of my fav. Poems. Hope you like it as well!

Of all the girls that are so smart

There’s non like pretty sally,

She is the darling of my heart,

And she lives in out alley.

There is no lady in the land

Is half so sweet as sally,

She is the darling of my heart,

And she lives in our alley

He father he makes cabbage – nets

And through the streets does cry’em

Her mother she sells laces long

To such as please to buy them:

But sure such folks could ne’er beget

So sweet a girl as sally!

She is the darling of my heart,

And she lives in out alley.

When she is by, I leave my work,

I love her so sincerely,

My mastes comes like any turk,

And bangs me most severely –

Ut let him bang his bellyful,

Ill bear it all for sally,

She is the darling of my heart,

And she lives in out alley.

Of all the days that’s in the week

I dearly love but one day-

And that’s the day that comes betwixt

A Saturday and Monday;

For then I m dressed all in the best

Towalk abroad with sally

She is the darling of my heart

And she lives in our alley.

My master carried me to church,

And often am I blamed

Because I leave him in the lurch

As soon as text is named;

I leave the church in sermon – time

And slink away to sally

She is darling of my heart

And she lives in my alley

When Christmas comes about again

O then shall I have money;

Ill hoard it up, and box It all

Ill give it to my honey;

I would it were ten thousand pounds,

I’d give it to sally;

She is the darling or my heart

And she lives in our alley

My master and the neightbours all

Make game of me and sally,

And, but for her, I’d better be

A slave and row a galley;

But when my seven long years are out

O then ill marry sally-

O then we’ll wed, and then we’ll bed,

But not in out alley

- H Carey.

Hey friends I have decided to also put in some comical things on my blog, or maybe some jokes. Its always boring to read the serious serious things right? We need some laugh as well. So here goes, ill put up some funny things as well.

PS – I would continue my normal posting with it.

Love Aaj Kal

I recently saw “ love aaj kal”, as it was from the director of “ Jab we met” I had a bit high hopes from it, atleast not better that jab we met the atleast like it. But it was nowhere like it ( I didn’t love any single movie recently, last was Rang de basanti ). I wont say love aaj kal is bad nor will I say its good, ill just say Ok! K .the cinematography is a bit poor, the song yeh duriyaan makes you wonder what duriya they are talking about?. Cause all they showed before that was this that how they hooked up. Well once when that is sorted out, even the later movie is sorta same. Like when harpreet goes to kolkatta and when she comes back??? Another was, he said was this that he went to that fort to give harpreet a surprise and that said should do the same, but I could not see any surprise element in it.

That harpreet is good, she pulled her character really well, but deepika, Ufff I still find her very very very pale, when will she give any expressions??? ( I dunno if you feel that or no, but I do. Maybe I am just able to see that part of her and not the other)

So to end up with, ill say an ok ok movie! Ie 3 on 5.